Through My Lens: Our Fight with MS

Hello everyone,

I know it’s been a while. My health has gotten in the way, and I’ve had to take some time to rest. Today, I want to share a little more about myself and give you some insight into who I am. I also want this to be my first entry in a series that I hope will help bring awareness to what Multiple Sclerosis is through my photography. I want to ask for your help in finding warriors whom I can photograph and interview. Last year, my family lost a very special person in our lives, Joel Lopez. He loved his mother more than anything in the world. He was a great uncle and a loving brother. He was the type of person who didn't like getting into fights; he preferred to remain neutral and always gave his honest opinion. He never sugarcoated anything. He was a great friend who always made time to chill if you told him months in advance of course. He was one of the people who was always there for me throughout my journey with MS. I think one of the most beautiful ways to brighten someone's day is simply to ask them, “How are you doing?” Nowadays, there are people genuinely going through it who may just be looking for a friendly conversation. Joel would contact me to ask how I was doing, and it honestly meant a lot, especially because I was having some very bad days at the beginning of my journey.

I want this series to help keep his memory alive. He loved helping others, and I would like to contribute as much as I can to bringing awareness to MS. So, to start, I would like to share a bit more about myself and my journey to getting my diagnosis. Before I get into that, however, I would like to share a little about who I am. My name is Ismael Garcia, and I am a photographer based in Northern Virginia. I primarily photograph landscapes, wildlife, and flowers. I have tried other types of photography because I want to learn as much as I can and continue to perfect my craft.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2019, and it has been a battle ever since. I hope to help individuals learn about Multiple Sclerosis by hearing the stories of the real warriors behind the diagnosis. I believe we all have a story to tell, especially because so many of us have experienced misdiagnoses and the amount of testing it can take to finally get an answer. I want to help newly diagnosed individuals know that there is a great community that is always willing to help. I struggled when I was first diagnosed, and I was very depressed.

All I could think about were all the hopes and dreams I had. In reality, this was a new beginning. Ever since I was a kid, I had been suffering from random pains. It started around my middle school years. I would dread gym class because afterward I would experience an unbelievable amount of fatigue and pain in the soles of my feet. Every muscle would tighten up, and the next few days would be painful. I have always been clumsy, but I started to notice that I would lose my balance easily. I thought it was probably just me not paying attention. I also kept battling constant headaches and wasn't sure what was going on. I wasn't seeing a doctor around this time because my mom couldn't afford it. She worked three jobs to put food on the table for my sister and me. I lost my little brother when I was young, and I knew she didn't want to show us her pain. As the older brother, you witness everything your parents have been through for longer, and I saw it all. One day, a friend from work gave my mom some information about getting assistance so I could receive medical help. My mom applied, and I was enrolled in Kaiser. The first time I saw a doctor, I shared my symptoms, and the testing started.

Unfortunately, my mom didn't know how the program worked and didn't reapply the following year. I had an MRI done right before my coverage expired, but it was literally a few days before my coverage was terminated, and my mom was afraid to take me back because she feared a huge medical bill. Years went by, and I continued dealing with the pain. There were really tough days when the pain was so unbearable that, in order to fall asleep, I had to stay completely still and hope no muscles twitched because that would cause sharp pains. I would go to school and, later in life, work with the feeling that I was walking on sharp, pointy rocks barefoot. For years, I didn't have medical coverage until I became an adult. It just so happened that it was a time when I really needed it because I started dealing with a tingling sensation on the left side of my body.

I got Blue Cross Blue Shield and chose my primary care doctor. During that visit, I described how I was having problems with a tingling sensation on the left side of my body. He then proceeded to do an EKG because he wanted to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. The EKG showed an irregularity. He said I was having an “Inferior MI,” which is a heart attack affecting the bottom wall of the heart. He sent me straight to the ER and told me to have someone take me. I got to the hospital still conscious. I didn't feel tired or as if I was losing consciousness; I felt very alert. They took me to the back and immediately performed another EKG. The results came back normal. That's when the attending doctor came in and said that everything looked normal. He asked me if there was a history of heart problems, and I told him my little brother was born with a heart defect and passed away from it. He told me that he didn't believe I was having a heart attack. He said it could have been a missed reading, but they would put in a referral for me to see a heart specialist.

I waited months for that appointment, and finally, about six months later, I got to see a specialist.He did another EKG, and he said it came out normal. He examined the other tests they had done at the hospital and said he believed my heart was healthy and that he didn't see any irregularities. Just like that, I was back to square one. I had no idea what was causing the symptoms on my left side. When the following year came around, I decided to go back to Kaiser, and that was honestly one of the best decisions I've ever made regarding my healthcare. Now, I will say, don't take my word for it. Everyone's needs are different, and I feel like Kaiser has been phenomenal ever since I switched. As soon as I joined, I chose my primary care doctor, but before I could see him, I started to feel more numb, and my balance was terrible. My headaches were also becoming more painful, and the pain I was feeling throughout my body was more intense. I lost feeling in the toes and fingers on my left side. Thankfully, Kaiser has an urgent care, and I went in right away after discussing my symptoms with a doctor over the phone. She recommended that I go in.

When I got there, they immediately started testing to find the root cause. They took down some of my medical history, and I explained that I used to have Kaiser when I was younger, so my history should be there. Then I told him what had happened the year prior. He asked if they had done an MRI, and I told him no. They got me inside an MRI machine within the hour, and the scans showed multiple lesions in my brain. He was able to pull my charts from when I was a kid, and he could see the MRI that had been performed when I was younger. He put the two scans side by side and asked me if I had spoken with my doctor about the test results when I was a kid. I explained to him why we lost coverage, so I was never told anything about the findings on the MRI. He told me that if I had continued with further testing, they could have put me on medication earlier, as he believed those lesions in my brain could be due to an autoimmune disease called Multiple Sclerosis. He told me he had sent a referral to the neurology department so a specialist could look at it further and confirm the diagnosis.

By the following week, I had an appointment with the neurologist. He started with testing my reflexes, and my left side had little to no movement. He made me walk in a straight line and run in the hallway. He then told me that they would have to do a spinal tap to collect spinal fluid and confirm the diagnosis. He explained how the procedure would happen and gave me a date to come back and get it done. About two days later, I came back, and they started by numbing an area in the lower part of my back. Honestly, I didn't even feel a thing. It took about a week, but one day on my way home from work, I received a call. I was at a red light, and I answered. I remember the neurologist starting by telling me the results of my tests. He said that the spinal fluid they collected confirmed that I had Multiple Sclerosis. He then reassured me that with this diagnosis, they could better treat it and find a way for me to live with the disease. I was grateful for how quickly everything happened and how quickly the doctors addressed my health issues. They got me the help I needed to start medication right away. It's always great to have a team of doctors who are looking out for your well-being. I'm so grateful for the amazing team of doctors I have, and for the care they've given me since I was diagnosed.

Following the diagnosis, I started taking a medication that was administered once a day by injection. This was so painful. I hate needles as it is, and having to see one every day quickly made me hate them even more. I had a coworker who was studying to be a nurse help me with a couple of injections. I quickly started having bad side effects from this medication. I can't remember the name of it, as it's been that long since I took it. The medication made me feel awful, and I was having issues holding food down. I let my doctor know, and he said he would change it. It wasn't a problem; we were trying to find what worked for me. He told me that if the medication made me feel ill, I should notify them right away and they would look for a solution. That stayed true until I finally found the right medication for me.

Before that, however, I tried another injectable medication called Extavia. I remember there being a whole lot of information, and I had to go to an appointment where they showed me how to self-inject because I wanted to learn. The first few weeks were okay. I had headaches here and there, especially on the days I injected the medication. About a month into the treatment, the side effects started, and they were bad. I developed flu-like symptoms that felt like they weren't going away. I was tired, and the pain I was feeling throughout my body was awful. I started vomiting, couldn't hold food down, and had really bad diarrhea. I became dehydrated, so before I even reached out, I decided to stop the injections altogether. I messaged my doctor and let him know what was going on. I told him I had stopped taking the medication and that the symptoms weren't getting any better. He told me to go to urgent care. After some medication and fluids, I was feeling a bit better. We discussed the next steps over the phone with my neurologist, and he decided to try a medication called Rituximab.

This meant having to go every six months to the oncology department to get an infusion. My first one was scheduled for June, three months after my initial diagnosis. I remember being so nervous the first time I went to get this medication. They told me to prepare to be there for eight hours, so if I wanted to bring snacks or lunch, they said that would be a great idea, especially because of how strong the medication is. I remember getting there, and they took me to a reclining chair. They began by giving me the initial medications, which consisted of two Tylenol, a steroid, and either Claritin or Benadryl. I happen to not react well to Claritin, so they had to give me Benadryl.

But let me tell y'all, this isn't a drinkable medication. If you get Claritin, they give you two pills. When you get Benadryl, they put it through your IV, and this makes it take effect almost instantly. Within seconds, you start feeling like you're blacking out. It makes me nauseous, and I've nearly thrown up twice already. Before they administer the medication, another nurse comes over, and the two of them verify your name and date of birth. They then attach the medication to your IV, and it drips for hours, changing its speed every 30 minutes. This process can be very long if you are not able to tolerate the rate at which they are giving you the medication.

Three infusions later, the nurse I had that day asked me if I wanted to try a rapid infusion. They would simply increase the dosage to double the original rate. This would get me out of there more quickly. I agreed, and the process began. Not even 30 minutes into the process, I started to feel pressure in my head. My throat began to feel like it was closing, and I started to feel like I was about to vomit. The nurses immediately came over, as I apparently signaled one of them for help, although I don't remember this part at all. I do remember them putting something through my IV, and I started to feel a bit better. The rapid infusion did not work. Ever since then, they have used a standard rate for my infusions, and they are not allowed to change it. I apparently had a serious allergic reaction to the medication and called out for help because I was having trouble breathing. That has been the scariest thing I've experienced since being on this medication.

At the same time, this medication has given me a piece of my life back. Not every day is perfect, but it at least reduces the number of those bad days and helps me work and function more normally. I am very grateful for the team of doctors I have because they have honestly taken care of me ever since I was diagnosed. I am very grateful for how far I've come. It has not been easy. My depression got really bad at some points during this journey, but I've learned to appreciate life. I've learned to appreciate the beauty of the world around me. Photography has been my outlet—a way to express myself and show you how I see life: the beauty in it and the resilience we all have. I have trouble connecting with people because I am a very quiet individual, but I always appreciate someone who takes the time to get to know me and shows me kindness. It brightens my days, and I bet a lot of us need that, no matter where we are in life. If you or your family member have MS please contact me. I am in Northern Virginia, so if you are too, please contact me through the option on my homepage. Please tell me what style of photos you are looking for and give me some days you are available, and I can come up with an idea for the shoot. I haven't been feeling well because of my knee, but I hope it gets better soon so I can get back out there photographing and continuing this journey.

Sometimes I’m reminded of how quickly time passes, and honestly, it scares me. The older you get, the harder life seems to hit. I’m in my 30s now, and throughout my life, I’ve lost many people I loved. Somehow, each loss becomes harder and harder to process. On October 10, 2024, I wrote a blog titled “Fear!” After Joel passed, I found myself going back and reading that blog over and over again because of the words I had written. That blog has become almost like a memory book for me a place where I can revisit the people I’ve loved and the memories they left behind. I lost my little brother at a very young age, but not a day goes by that I don’t remember him. I remember what he looked like, turning purple as he struggled to breathe. I remember watching him being taken to the hospital, never knowing that would be the last time I would see him alive. My grandmother was incredibly supportive during that time. She knew I had lost my uncle just a month before, and now I had lost my brother. She comforted me the way she knew best—with a warm meal, the kind of meal that could warm your soul. Growing up broke, especially if you grew up in El Salvador, you know the struggle. You also know the simple joys that came with it: huevos revueltos con plátanos fritos, frijoles, crema y tortillas. And if you were feeling boujee, you added aguacate. 😂 My grandma always knew how to bring a smile to my face. Her cooking brought joy to my stomach and comfort to my heart. I miss her every day, and I try to remember and live by the advice she gave me.I miss my uncle too. He would come to see me often and would always bring me a dollar. He'd say, “Go buy yourself something to snack on,” and I would happily head to the store for some goodies. 😂 He always told me to chase my dreams and, most importantly, to always behave and take care of my mom. When he passed, it was quite a shock. I don't think I ever really had time to process everything because it happened so suddenly. My brother-in-law was the same way. We were literally talking just two days before his accident, never knowing that would be the last conversation I would ever have with him. His absence is still felt throughout our family. A couple of days ago, I received an injection in my knee for the pain I've been dealing with. Joel and I always used to joke about getting a cane with a hidden blade. So, after getting my injection on Thursday, I ended up getting a cane—and suddenly, all those memories came flooding back. Something as simple as a cane brought me right back to those conversations and reminded me just how quickly life can change.

I think that's what I've learned from losing so many people I love: don't wait to tell someone how much they mean to you. Check in on your family. Check in on your friends. Reach out to that one person you haven't spoken to in a while. Sometimes, a simple “hello” or “how are you doing?” can mean more than you realize. Life moves quickly. We don't always get a chance to say goodbye, so make sure the people you love know exactly how much they mean to you. Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and follow along on this journey. ❤️ And please, help me connect with more amazing individuals living with MS. I truly want to hear their stories, photograph them, and use my photography to help bring awareness to the people behind the diagnosis. 📸